Well, not really. But…remember my last post? The one with the jab about the lesbian ex-girlfriend that my husband was back in contact with? OK…so listen…
When I went postal on him, he said that it was no biggie. That he didn’t care about talking to her. Not to worry.
Yeah…right.
Friday night…
He met his cousins, who are in town from Boston…at a bar. And…guess who else met him there?
While his wife was at home…
babysitting her sick with pneumonia son. Not to mention…the other 4 of our children.
And…he neglected to let me know that she would be up there…the lesbian ex-girlfriend…until his arrival home at 2:45 a.m…
I. WAS. PISSED!
Not because he was curious about seeing her again. I would be too.
Not because he was curious about what she’s been up too. I would be too.
I was pissed because…he lied and he was sneaky. And that is a betrayal.
Then on Saturday morning…I told him that there is no reason to try to reconnect with someone who you haven’t been connected to…in 20 freaking years. Whats. The. POINT?
So he said fine. Whatever. He didn’t care.
So…while he was out yesterday. I did a little sneaking around myself. Into his email. Because…I had some suspicions. And…
I found a nice little facebook message from her…
About how their conversation kept her up all night on Saturday. And…how she says he is right…that there is still something between them…she felt it too.
And…I got even more pissed. And…I was so hurt. How can MY husband…tell ANOTHER woman, lesbian or not…that there is still something between them…
So…I went running up to meet my husband and children at his uncles house, where he was playing volleyball.
And I shakily handed him the message…which I had printed off the computer…
And…he ignored me and kept playing volleyball.
Yeah…that’s right…
he ignored me.
Until last night…
When he realized that I wasn’t going to take ANY shit from him. He realized what he had done. That his really stupid and irresponsible actions had almost cost him the loss of me and my kids…including OUR child. Because…I was ready to leave. If he can sneak around once…even though it was “innocent”…he is capable of doing it again.
I let him verbally have it. I told him that, basically, he brings SO MUCH baggage to our marriage. Between his horrible family, his insane ex-wife…and their crazy son (their daughter is fine), his lack of motivation to get us out of financial difficulties…basically, I told him that, right now, the only good thing in our marriage is OUR son…and my children, of course (because they’re mine!)
And for the first time ever…I saw my husband cry. And I was glad. It gave me pleasure.
But, he told me that from the minute he met me…he loved me. And that even though he did something stupid…as innocent as it was…he would NEVER cheat. He would leave first before he ever betrayed me.
We talked for a couple of hours. I’m not going to write about everything we spoke of…it would take forever…but,
I just checked his facebook account…because I’m sneaky that way…
and she isn’t on his friend list anymore…and all the other ex-girlfriends that he had friended…they aren’t there either.
I have no idea what he did about answering her facebook message but…I’m really thinking that he did the right thing.
You know what’s funny though?
If this whole thing had been handled differently…
If, perhaps, he had told me about her…and maybe asked me if she could come to our house for dinner…with her child. Or took me along on Friday night…
it could have had a different ending.
Because, even with the crying and the apology and the declaration of love…
he still took away some of my trust in him. And that hurts. Because I trusted him. And now I don’t. Not completely. Even though nothing physical happened. Actually, nothing happened except for MY husband, sneaking to see a lesbian ex-girlfriend…
but now I don’t trust him completely…
And, I hate him for that.
On a side note..
i can’t figure out why, if today is monday the 9th…that my blog is on Australia time. HMMM…
