The Story Behind The Picture… July 31, 2008

I’m sure you KNEW that there was a little story to go with my Wordless Wednesday.

My husband had to go to Home Depot to get whatever husbands like to get from that testosterone filled place…seriously, it’s like the male version of Target!!

Anyway…he asked all the kids if they wanted to tag along with him. The only takers were…my littlest son and daughter. But…they’ll go anywhere with my husband. Especially Home Depot. They love the hot dogs!

As they were walking in, a man approaches them. My husband assumed this man wanted to sell him a waterproof basement package or an enclosed sun porch. But no…

The man took a look at my children and said to my husband…”You need to take a picture of your children. They are two of the happiest looking children I’ve seen in a long time.”

And my husband stopped. He looked at the kids and realized…he did need to take a picture. Because, they were TRULY overflowing with happiness.

He had them put their heads together. He didn’t even have to tell them to smile or say cheese. And…with his camera phone, he took the most beautiful picture of my two youngest children.

He found the man who told him that this picture needed to be taken and he showed him the picture.  The man was thrilled…it made his day.

For us, this picture is a reminder. That despite all the whining. Despite all the crying. And temper tantrums…

We are doing a good job. Because our children are happy. And they radiate it. Well…2 of the 5, anyway.

But, I think that had they all gone to Home Depot with their Daddy…and the man stopped my husband to take a picture of the kids…all 5 of them would have glowed like that.

And that makes me glow.

Wordless Wednesday… July 30, 2008

I know its wordless but…look how cute!!  I made them.  They came out of my body!!  My two youngest.  Sigh…I do good work!

Dontchya Remember? July 29, 2008

Um, OK, yeah…

So, remember when we first met?

And, remember when we decided to get married?

And, remember when I told you I hated doing laundry…which was proven by the mess in my condo…

And, remember when you said you’d ALWAYS  help?

OK, so…

I’m still waiting…

Love you…mwah…

Now, can you tear yourself away from the World Freaking Poker Tour…and the guys that beat the crap out of each other in an octagon shaped coliseum…

And start folding!!!

Summer Survival Vocab. List… July 29, 2008

To My Darling Family:

I’ve decided that we need to start working on your vocabulary. School is starting soon and I want you to be ahead of the game…this includes you, too…sweet hubby of mine.

Here is how it works.

I have a few words in mind. Ones that you all know. But…you OBVIOUSLY don’t understand. It’s a small list. But the words…BIG in meaning. Ready? Keep in mind…the definitions are my own and I think that they will be easy enough for all of you to understand…

Cleanliness: keeping your room and your body…neat and tidy…and scent free. We have a kitten that is peeing all over the house. Your smells are not making the matter any better.

Reciprocation: I clean your room, you keep it clean. I wash and fold your clothes, you put them away neatly…NEATLY. I keep the house clean…you help to keep the house clean. I make the meals, you eat them without complaining. Is this making any sense? Do you see a pattern here?

Appreciation: A freaking thank you every once in a while…without me having to remind you…will do nicely. THANK YOU!

Helpful: If I am upstairs cleaning MY part of the room…and there are dishes in the dishwasher that need to be put away, and laundry that needs to be folded…AND…dishes that need to be moved from the sink INTO the dishwasher…then why is it you are in the basement on the computer…HUH? WHA?

Intonation: It’s not always what you say…it’s how you say it. Whiny, shrill, bitchy, attitudinal…those INTONATIONS…they aren’t working. They make me want to line you all up and slap you, one at a time, across the face…but I wouldn’t do that because…I’m

Respectful: Don’t touch. Don’t hit. Don’t call each other names that hurt. You can’t take those back and some of them are traumatizing. If you love each other…respect each other. And…respect your parents. When we tell you no…it’s no. When we tell you maybe…it’s no. When we tell you yes…it’s maybe. Watch the INTONATIONS…and be RESPECTFUL when you don’t get your way! Also…don’t break each others things. More importantly…don’t break my things!!!!

Well, these are just a few to get you started.

Study them, learn them, live them.  Because, there will be pop quizzes…DAILY!   And flunking is NOT an option!!

Love,

Mommy

The Weekend, A Poem and A Not So Bright Blogger… July 26, 2008

I was sitting on the toilet, leafing through a short story and poetry book of my husbands while a waited for another blockage to unblock…and came across a poem. I kept reading it and re-reading it…I had some time to kill. I had never heard of it before but was quite taken by the simplicity of it and the message behind it.

When I was finished hanging out in the bathroom for some privacy, I took the book over to my husband. I read him the poem and told him how much I loved it and how amazed I was that I had never heard of it.

He sort of snorted and said that EVERYONE has heard of it because it was a famous poem by a famous writer.

OK…well, color me stupid because this was the first I”ve heard of it. But…I’m going to share it with all of you so that you can tell me how ignorant I am for not hearing of Gwendolyn Brooks or her poem called “We Real Cool” before…so here it is for you…

We Real Cool by Gwendolyn Brooks

We real cool. We

Left school. We

Lurk late. We

Strike straight. We

Sing sin. We

Thin gin. We

Jazz June. We

Die soon.

I LOVE that poem! Love it. I love how it’s written. I love how it’s worded. I love what it says. It’s brilliant. But then again…

EVERYONE already knew that…except poor little me!!

Have an AWESOME weekend, OK!

XOXO

I Like Milk Chocolate Better… July 25, 2008

My daughter finished 4th grade this past Spring. On one of her last days in school, she came home with a new word she learned from her teacher…

Bittersweet.

That’s the word. But, she doesn’t use the word right…not really…

She tells me that SHE is BITTERSWEET!!

Her last postcard from camp told me that she had a couple of days left and she was bittersweet. Not…she FELT bittersweet. But…SHE is bittersweet.

And, as a mom of a ten year old daughter…she is so right.

Sometimes bitter. Sometimes sweet.

It’s only a couple of years now until the sweet disappears entirely and she becomes straight bitter!

And that…is BITTERSWEET!

Search Engine Terms Alleviate Blockage… July 24, 2008

I’ve got writers block. Which is why I haven’t posted in the last couple of days. I’ll bet you were thinking it was because Hubby and I were still having a sex-fest to celebrate our anniversary. NOPE! I’m completely blocked. So, I’ll just share with you what we did for our anniversary. Well, I won’t share EVERYTHING but…anyways…

This. Is excitement…

We…went to dinner. For those who live in my area…Spositas…yummy!!! I had salmon. He had some kind of cow.

I got really full.

Then…(ready for this)…we went…

to the casino.

And, WE WON!!! Boy, did we wipe them out of money. I won 200 bucks on the video poker machine…I got a Royal Flush…on three coins. 5 coins would have been 1000 bucks, which I could have saved for next years Blogher convention but, $200 isn’t worth complaining about!!

And hubby…won over 300 dollars. I think he was playing Texas Hold’em. Not sure…wasn’t really paying attention to him…sorry.

Then we went home, paid the sitter…and went…to bed.

OK…so, like my last blog, I love checking the terms that people use to find me. Well, it seems that, once again, my blog attracts sex addicts and perverts…I guess I like it that way?

Here are some terms and variations…

Lots of lyrical look ups for that song that I used for my anniversary post…and lots of bad spelling to find it!!

Drool. Yes, drool. Hmmm…

Thongs…gee, I wonder why?

Beaver…

mom showing beaver in public

granny showing hairy beaver in public…c’mon…I don’t have a granny anymore. And if I did a)she wouldn’t be showing her beaver in public and b) if she was, I wouldn’t write about it so…you wouldn’t find anything about that here!!

Lots of things to do with sex…

and…last but not least…

cherry limeade slurpees and their calorie content or what they are made with.

OK…I’m outta here.

Once again, a wonderful, thrilling and informative post brought to you from…ME!!

XOXO

I’m Not Going To Write You A Love Song… July 22, 2008

Today…is our 6 year anniversary.  Happy Anniversary!

I’m NOT going to write about the fact that I knew, relatively quickly, that you were “THE ONE”.  That’s just flat out embarrassing.

I REFUSE to tell everyone how much I love you.  I’m NOT a mushy type of girl.

I’m COMPLETELY OPPOSED to announcing  how happy I’ve been…on the most part…these last 6 years.  I wouldn’t want you to get too comfortable and complacent!

I’m NOT going to reiterate a card that I gave you for Father’s Day…about how I’d follow you anywhere…even if you were lost…

I REFUSE to expose the fact that…you’re my BFF.  Because it might hurt feelings

I’m COMPLETELY OPPOSED to writing about how pretty darn good I think our marriage is…despite certain things…which are basically manageable.

I wouldn’t want to bore the couple of friends I have that still hang out here with me.  And, I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself.

So, I won’t mention any of those things, OK?

I’ll just go ahead and wish you, my husband, a very HAPPY Anniversary.  And, may we have many more…YO!

XOXO

p.s…don’t tell anyone but…I love you!

Life Sucks And Then You Start Saving Money For Next Year… July 21, 2008

Us Jewish people have an expression which we say during Passover.  It goes something like “Next year in Jerusalem”.  Which, basically means that all the Jewish people around the world will come together as one and have a huge seder in Israel…so Elijah only has to make one stop.  Not really but that’s my little twist on it.

Well, I say…To hell with Jerusalem!  Next year at Blogher, baby!!

I’m oozing green out of my pores after seeing some of my favorite bloggers pictures from the Blogher convention in California.  SEETHING!!!

Even though we haven’t been stalking each other much lately, some of my favorite ladies like Mr. Lady, OhMommy, Kim, Maria and Jim…just to name a hot couple of them…they’re there!  With each other.  They got to meet, drink and grab each others butts!!  And I’m sitting here sweating and scratching my mosquito bites.  UNFAIR!!!

I didn’t realize how upset I’d be that I didn’t go.  But…I am!

So next year…who wants to be my roommate?  Anyone?  Anyone?

xoxo

A Rhetorical Question… July 18, 2008

To all of you parents who leave your small children in a closed up tight car, locked in…on a super hot day…

Can you really be THAT fricking stupid? Really?

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Just asking…

You were probably better off keeping that appointment for the abortion…at least you wouldn’t have to face criminal charges that way…