I’ve been gaining weight. Don’t have a clue why (turning head and sneaking jelly beans into mouth)…but, somehow, I’ve managed to gain 10 pounds. None of my clothes from last summer fit me. Well…the shirts do. So do the shoes. But the pants…I don’t think so. I can’t even squeeze myself into them and wear a long shirt to hide the fact that my zipper broke…nope.
Anyway…
So, I decided that it was time to buy new clothes. I was scaring people when I was chasing after my naked son…naked. Quite a sight, I tell ya!
After some research on the latest fashions, I decided that skirts and tank tops are going to be the uniform of choice this summer.
I ran over to Target…LOVE it there!!
I chose a few skirts…including and not limited to…a really cute t-shirt material Mossimo skirt, a white Issac Mizrahi skirt and a brown and tan skirt. Actually…the Mossimo skirt…I got that in 3 different colors. After all, this is going to be my summer uniform so…more power in numbers, you know what I’m saying?!
Then, I bought a bunch of tank tops. So stinking cute.
Suddenly, a lightbulb went off…
I don’t own underwear. Don’t like them. As a matter of fact, I’m generally anti-underwear!!!
But, really…you HAVE to wear underwear with skirts. Because…
If you have a son like mine…
he likes to pull up my skirt…in public…and put his head under there…
That whole scene…it’s wrong on SO MANY different levels…especially when and if I don’t have underwear on…
So, I bought myself, much to my chagrin…some thongs. Because, my greatest gripe with underwear…WEDGIES…and underwear lines…
Which brings me to my point…(shoving more jelly beans into mouth)…
What the heck is the difference between wearing regular bikini underwear and getting wedgies…THAT YOU CAN PULL OUT!! Or, wearing thongs…whose wedgies…are PERMANENT!!??
Seriously?
WTF is the deal with thongs? Granted…no underwear lines. But this permanent wedgie thing…I’m thinking I’m willing to take my chances with my son showing everyone my beaver!!!
Just sayin…
